Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
