No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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