i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
