Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
