So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
