He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
