Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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