No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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