trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
