Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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