Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
