she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
