She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize