The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
