I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
