3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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