why didn't you poke me back
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize