I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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