Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
