found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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