Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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