Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
