Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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