This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
