If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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