My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
