By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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