We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
