currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
