one might say we're banned from that church
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
