I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
