And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
