he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize