I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
we're so committed to being not committed
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
