she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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