talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
