There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
