I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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