He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
