My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
