i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
