I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
