Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
