He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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