You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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