Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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