I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
