I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
