Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
