I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
