she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
