I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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