He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
