where am i from again
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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