this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
