Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
