My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
