I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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