This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize