we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
