i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
