We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
