so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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