Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
