I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
