Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
