There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
