and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
