No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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