Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
