In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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