what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
