you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize