The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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