if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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