tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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